Be selfish now, give back later

What does it mean to be selfish and are we being out of line by being so?
Growing up I didn’t really understand the reasons why people were selfish and how they never put others first in situations I would of done. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been too considerate for my own good – which often means you get walked over so it’s not always a good thing – but as I have got older and wiser, I have realised it’s good to be selfish. If we don’t look after ourselves, who will?

See if we constantly run around trying to please others we may get so lost in their worlds we forget about our own happiness. Is this just and fair? No, of course not, yet many of us are like that.

When we go to school or college we are striving to fit in and make new friends. Being selfish, for many of, is a trait completely off the radar until we become more comfortable with ourselves. Usually peer pressure and selfishness come hand in hand – should we feel this pressure we are then influenced to drop our ideals and follow the suit of others.

It wasn’t until I joined university last year did I realise how far I had come and how far many of us come together. Saying no to doing things that others are doing and structuring your time the way you want it spent not how other people may try to dictate are all ways of being more focused on yourself as an individual with individual needs.

See if we learn to look after, nurture and love ourselves, others will love us too and this leaves an open heart for an exchange of love between two or more people to compromise and feel fulfillment in multiple ways.

Shining light on the generation of today

Being the observant individual that I am, I noticed some rare behaviour on the national railway the other day.

A group of young teenagers – they were no older than 16 years old – were conversing out loud about drugs as a conversation, bringing the topic to life in a positive mannerism.

You could see the expressions on other people’s faces change when they could overhear it, and it makes you realise just how quickly the generations are growing up now and getting to grips with society and all of the bad stuff within it. Quite scary really.

Having never experienced a bad train journey before I was quite shocked at the language of this ‘youth’ generation. I also have a young sister myself who is 12 years old, and it shuns light on the possible conversations she may be having with her friends now or in the future, and just how important education is for these young teens in today’s world about such topics.

Parents can desperately try and wrap their children up in cotton wool, but does this really prohibit what happens outside of the house? Too much discipline and strict rules can make children rebel and want to be mischievous even more, so I think a good balance is needed in freedom and education/awareness.

To top off my journey there was a group of young boys of a similar age who decided to torment a couple as they tried to leave the train. A young mum with her child in her arms decided to raise her voice, swear and pull angry expressions at this group which only caused a heap more of problems. One thing lead to the next and the verbal language continued to stir the carriage. Horrific is the best way to describe it.

So don’t be vulnerable and don’t shut your eyes to the evident issues in the modern age. It will happen inevitably – completely out of our control – and all we can do is lead by example. Be the change you want to see in the world said a wise man – Gandhi.

My inspirational voice

It’s about how you got there, not where you end up…

My feature written for QH University of Westminster Newspaper

Do you think outside the box? Do you wonder what is on the other side? I do. All the time…

It’s crazy when you think about society and how we are expected to conform to the norms and regulations of what is seen as ‘right’. Going to school, then to college, then to University. Education is priceless and is definitely worth every penny. You carry it with you for life. But what is on the other side? What is it that you want to do? What are your dreams and aspirations?

Sometimes we get so caught up in day to day activities we can forget about what actually matters. We need to sit back and realise what is around us, because quite often we don’t appreciate the things that are in front of us. People say that our school days are the best days of our lives. It’s a process we all need to go through, then many of us decide to further our education at University – as we have a particular interest in a specific subject. This is great. There is no better feeling than when you know what you want to do… The next step is to figure out how to get there.

There is no right way to get to anywhere. I think it’s like anything in life, if you believe in yourself and your capabilities, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. If you have a passion; let your passion drive you. Lead you onto bigger and better things.

A lot of the time we need to turn a bad thing into a good thing. I remember so many times when I have hit rock bottom in the past, and all I want to do is cry: like the whole world is against me.

We have to be grateful for all the little things in our lives; that is what truly matters. Family, friends, loved ones…the people that care about you. That, alone, is enough to put a smile on my face every morning when I wake up.

The point of the matter is, we can quite often think that the thing that makes us happiest, our hobby, our dream job is stupid, or will not be accepted by others. A lot of us are afraid to excel on it because it seems so out of reach and so far away. There can be people surrounding you telling you can’t, and what you need to reply is, “watch me.”

Turning negativity into positivity is crucial. For instance, since a child I always wanted to go to University. None of my family ever went, so as much as they were proud that I wanted to go and that I had so much enthusiasm for it, they didn’t encourage the situation. How can you understand something you have never experienced? You can’t. But what you have to keep doing is what you want to do – something so simple yet so many of us quit at breaking point because of the influences and pressures that surround us.

When I went travelling last year it changed my life. I had always wanted to travel since my early teens but with somebody. I wanted to experience what was on the “other side”, what else was out there? I was so curious. Things didn’t go to plan, however, but I dug up the courage and went on my own. Through organised tours and pre-planning all of my accommodation and flights on my own I felt at ease. On the other hand, my parents were petrified. It wasn’t the Gemma Leigh Smith they knew. I was such a timid girl; afraid of so many things, yet my determination always pushed me further than my fears.

Like I previously said – you cannot explain something until you have experienced it yourself, so it would be wrong of me to even begin to try. All I can say though is you get a sense of freedom – something you would have never previously felt. Waking up every day wondering who and what you will meet is such an incredible feeling. You learn so much as part of your life skills. Social skills and verbally communicating with strangers – all of which are vital in this world of living.

I pushed myself to the limit when I travelled. I ventured to Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Australia and then New Zealand. It was the most rewarding thing I have ever encountered. Literally, it changed my life. It makes you such a rounder person with an enriched perspective on life and the opportunities that are out there. You see things in a different light; it is certainly ‘right’ that it broadens your horizon.

Not only that but you make friends all over the world, and just when you think you’re on your own, if you look around you notice how many other people are like-minded. If there’s anything you want to put to the test, travel. It is worth every penny; and coincides perfectly with education and the whole process of ‘growing up’ and conforming to society – except you can break the boundaries a little whilst you’re there!

Let loose, enjoy yourself and follow your dreams. Seeing is believing so please believe in YOU because anything IS possible.

Like I said… it isn’t about the ending of where you get and what you have achieved; it’s how you got there…

Written by Gemma Smith, Journalism Student in Year 1 at the University of Westminster

My favourite please in the entire world.

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Thanks, Gem x